What Defines Chaos?

/ˈkāˌäs/ 

Noun. 

Complete disorder and confusion

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Google’s definition of chaos, “complete disorder and confusion,” makes it hard to depict chaos in the world as it is. Chaos is so much and so little at the same time, it’s thrown around with varying degrees, and its meaning changes depending on the context in which it's used. Disorder can be applied to various scenarios and situations; one can argue that there’s complete disorder in their head, reflective of the complete disorder in their closet, which is further reflective of the overall disorder in their dynamic with life. Disorder in one area influences disorder in another, in a never ending cycle of chaos which can be spread across the entirety of a person’s life. You’re labelled as chaotic and therefore, by definition, there’s complete disorder in the way you live which translates to your choices, your relationships, and your effort. If this is true, can you ever escape complete disorder or chaos?

And then there’s the “confusion” aspect of chaos—simply not knowing what’s happening consecutively with disorder. I’d argue that almost everyone is always in a state of confusion—simply never following up with the things they’re confused with. Walking down the street, you see a person frantically running on the other side so you begin to wonder and enter a state of confusion when thinking about what they’re running toward or from—but there’s no way of knowing unless you actually ask them, so you decide you’d rather remain confused. When you walk by a classmate, you wave “hi,” but get no response so you become confused about what they think of you—but you’re too scared to confront them so you remain confused. When talking to the pretty girl, she compliments the way your hair looks and you enter a state of confusion not knowing the intent behind her compliment—but you don’t know how to face your big boy feelings and rejection so you stay confused by what she meant. All this alluding to the constant state of daily confusion coupled with disorder only adds onto the cycle of chaos.

So is everyday chaos? Is everyone in chaos? Is everything chaos? Other than the Google definition, what defines chaos as we know it?

Is chaos the woman who cried and clinged onto the man she loved because she convinced herself she couldn’t live without him? Or, is chaos that same man who continued to hold her by a leash knowing she was attached?

Is chaos the book? Or is it the imagery made by the reader in the realm of their head?

Is chaos the person you see yelling at absolutely nothing and swinging a knife in the middle of the street? Or is chaos the person who puts themselves at risk and proceeds to pass by the knife wielder anyway?

Is chaos a city? Or is it its people?

Is chaos the questions on your exam that you have no idea how to answer? Or is it you, who decided to go down the Youtube loophole at 3 am with your lecture notes untouched beside you?

Is chaos videos depicting war and massacre on the other side of the world, begging for people’s attention and help? Or is chaos the person who turns off their phone and throws it aside since that's simply more convenient for them?

Is chaos the person who yells for help? Or is it the people who tune them out and go about their lives as if they can’t hear anything?

Is chaos the music itself? Or is it the setting it's being played in?

Am I, the writer, chaos for making chaos seem deeper than it might actually be? Or are you, the reader, chaos, the one who still can’t grasp the concept or maybe you have and begin evaluating all the chaos that exists in your life?

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I think everything is chaos. From the systems in your body to the interactions you have with others to the places you go. There’s varying degrees of chaos, it's periodic; every day is chaos, but some days have more chaotic components than others. Voices are chaotic but some voices feel more chaotic to others than they do to you. Circumstances are chaotic but some days have more chaotic circumstances than others. We live in a world of chaos but it's not chaos to fear. 

The only chaos to fear are the most chaotic people—the ones who look in the eyes of chaos and decide to face it with a similar approach—show “complete disorder and confusion” in a way that might even put them at risk. 

Chaos is the woman who knew she was being pulled by a leash by her lover, but continued to love for the sake of growth and experience. 

Chaos is the person who chooses a chaotic book, knowing that it may alter their perception of life to in turn, become more chaotic.

Chaos is the one who takes the knife away from the wielder. 

Chaos is a person who moves into a city knowing its walls contain disorder. 

Chaos is the person who struggles to understand the exam even after rigourous studying, but persists in their efforts for an external cause, a stake that might incite even more chaos. 

Chaos is the little boy who looks at the bomb coming straight toward him and his neighbourhood and smiles to thank God.

Chaos is the person who yelled for help with no response but proceeded to ensure that those who ignored them were put in situations where no one responded to their cries of help.

Chaos is the one who uses the chaotic music to kindle new art.

And of course, one thing I can always assure you of is that chaos is the writer and their respective piece. Chaos begins at the tips of the writer’s fingers and ends at their remark of completion. Here’s where my chaos ends and yours begins.

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