Have you ever noticed the melody of February?
I’m January when I’m thinking of grad school programs despite not even being half-way through my bachelor’s, and I’m February when I enjoy the slightly stuffy lecture hall, soaking in the professor’s words like a sponge.
February sounds like work sometimes, no distractions. And sometimes it sounds like people coming together. (Illustration By: Hannah Arabella Gabling // The Underground).
After the parties, the meet-ups, the flare and colour— after the noise of January, February comes with calm. January makes me bittersweet, brings with it a subtle melancholy drumming at the back of my head. How the previous year fades into the next, concluding before I could do less than half of what I thought I could do…how it brings hope, for a better year.
February pushes past the heaviness of it all, letting it all trail behind like a colourful plume of smoke.
January feels all new and shiny sometimes. Too new, don’t you think? New year, new semester, new classes, new people to work with. Don’t you just love how, by February, everything is just settled in? Of course, it doesn’t get easier. Midterms only make it harder, but it's nice to be oriented and know where you are in the semester.
Even though it's still really cold, it's easier to look forward to the weather warming up in February. Weirdly, it’s easier to look forward to everything in February. January feels a bit overwhelming sometimes. Connecting with people and celebrating the new year is fine and all, but I feel like I need to visualize my whole year before the end of the month! Everyone keeps asking me about resolutions and plans for the year, and sometimes it doesn’t feel so light hearted. February just isn’t so chaotic, it flows on like a lofi song full of soft beats.
February sounds like work sometimes, no distractions. And sometimes it sounds like people coming together. Some people come together making jokes about Valentine's day, others celebrate it with their partners. Then there are the variations, between Galentines and Palentine’s, everyone takes an opportunity to sit with each other and celebrate the air in the room. Then comes Family Day, another opportunity to sit with one another for a day.
Now, I know you hate it when I do this, but please allow me to play with the metaphor here. I think there's January and February to all of us. January is the part of us obsessing with the future, making plans, trying to see it all come together at once. And February is that part of us that is content with the here and now, the part that doesn't feel the need to keep running and planning.
I’m January when I’m thinking of grad school programs despite not even being half-way through my bachelor’s, and I’m February when I enjoy the slightly stuffy lecture hall, soaking in the professor’s words like a sponge.
Maybe it’s a convoluted way of saying things, I’m not sure. You tell me? My point is that I quite like February, especially when January feels overwhelming. More than that, I’ve started to see imprints of my obsession with who I am and who I want to be in the shadows of time (how’s that for convoluted?). I’ve started to see January as a fleeting wave of passion, and February as a breath of fresh air.
I’ve started to see the New Year bringing a push and pull over me, where I think a bit too hard, and finally let go once January is over with. What do you think? Maybe it’s just me afterall.
